I had a great time with this class on Still Life Photography and actually learnt quite a few tips and tricks, and so grateful for the Tych plugin in photoshop that made collages so much easier since I am still a complete novice and it takes forever to get work done on photoshop and Lightroom (hence the slow pace the posts are coming up on images I shoot with my DSLR!).
A couple of months ago, I won the Skillshare scholarship through mailchimp as I am slowly trying to get the blog back on track and working through how to fix the bugs on the blog myself – long story short, it was never completed, but I suppose is as good as it gets!
If you have a little time and hunger to learn something new – I recommend Skillshare wholeheartedly. I’ve taken and paid for a few classes prior to winning the scholarship with Mailchimp and it’s the best thing ever!
Since I started sewing classes, my subconscious draws me too things in the craft – seams, pockets, collars, zips, sewing machine parts and then…inspired by a Pinterest post, we decided to work on a DIY your own body shape mannequin – an idea of my sewing classmate! We did this in about two hours this Saturday afternoon.
First time setting up the camera and still have so much to learn operating the DSLR. First attempt and was fun! Looking forward to more crafty experiments. I ended up with saggy boobs. #reallife #nailedit. Haha.
Of course I am all sweaty and shiny faced chubby chubs jambon thighs… but WHO CARES! Angle all wrong and because I was trying to operate the camera on tripod, I wonder how the professionals do it – I shall get better!
This is a long overdue post from our March holidays and birthday gift to ourselves we stayed at the Four Seasons Sayan in Ubud – which as been on my bucket list for the last… 16 years? I have the first edition of the 1000 places to see before you die that I remember purchasing at Borders Wheelock place (still so sad it closed down) in between working about six jobs to get through university.
Who knew I’d one day stay in the best Ayung river view suites at the Four Seasons Sayan Resort in Ubud, Bali? As a client of mine, they offered me a special rate at their entry level rooms and the kind wonderful hosts upgraded us to the top suite with our own villa pool.
And then they threw in a chakra massage in-room. What a treat! And then there was aerial yoga sessions in the rice fields. So much fun.
So much lush greenery, the walk to breakfast and leaving the resort daily. You can choose for a buggy pick up or take a walk. :)
They also run complimentary bicycling tours during the week around the rice padi fields and the village, here’s our lovely guide Saree taking us around and she knows pretty much everyone in the village! It didn’t fit into our schedule as we had to attend a wedding, but they work around your schedule and we paid something like 25USD/person for a private arranged tour.
Musicians in the super high ceiling lobby. You have to watch this drone video to get an idea of the gorgeous lush resort.
I wanted to venture out for local Nasi campur breakfast, but instead was advised to have breakfast in-house in case my stomach couldn’t tolerate local street food. I would have loved to try either way, but a compromise I made for princess husband.
Other mornings I ordered bubur ayam (chicken congee) poolside. We’d often hear people screaming as they white water rafted down the Ayung river and we waved to all of them from our pool.
Other highlights include sundowner drinks at Sundara that I helped launch a couple of years back and having a site inspection of their premier villas at Four Seasons Jimabaran Bay. Stunning views and a walk to the beach.
Training an instagram husband, but not very successful and not a great photo of me anyway!
As for where we ate, we really enjoyed Locavore and Hujan Locale. I wrote a piece on eating out in Ubud for the SCMP and was on the hunt for Batik, not entirely successful but was great to walk around the Ubud market.
This year, one of the hobbies I took up was planting my own edibles and I have taken some onlineclasses to better equip me on the subject. I cannot understand when people tell me life is boring when there are so many things to learn, and never enough time!
Well, we live in Macao, which is far from the most exciting place on earth – but I see this down time as an opportunity to learn so many new things (and about myself) because there is time to do so given that there isn’t much else I’d rather do given that the nightlife scene isn’t my thing.
I don’t have green thumbs, unlike my parents and the forest of a garden they tend to at home in Singapore. Most plants die on me after a week, so I was excited and pleasantly surprised with how well my seeds are sprouting and growing and it’s been really encouraging.
As long as there’s sunlight or natural light in some part of the house, I realise that’s all you need to get things growing. I was watering enthusiastically everyday but learnt that this isn’t great because in the humidity of Macau the soil gets damp and bugs like the gnats seem to grow out of nowhere and multiply!
It has been a pain point, but I finally figured out the winning formula. I had thrown out the soil, along with my tomato plants that were dying, repotted everything. It was good for two days before gnats miraculously started making another appearance.
Here’s what to do:
Buy some gravel or sand, I prefer the former as it’s more porous and made for household plants and allows water to seep through to the soil. It blankets the top layer of soil, so any eggs that hatch, the gnats will be stuck under and hopefully die!
This is a new trick I found on Pinterest and it works like a charm – 4 cloves of garlic, 5 small spicy chillies blended with half a cup of water, I wasn’t sure about the dish soap so I left that out since it’s all edibles that I’m planting. Sieve this and then use the solution to spray on your plants. It’s potent and very spicy, so you’d want to leave your windows open for some ventilation. It made me sneeze alot and my eyes water, but the good news is it wards off the bugs and kills them at the same time! Here’s my board on Pinterest for gardening ideas.
OH! And do not throw the dried and dead leaves back into the soil – it decomposes and then breeds gnats and bugs!! I thought it would be good compost – but DO NOT do that!
I water the plants every 2-3 days instead of daily and find that they grow faster and better. The husband says “you need to make them work for the water” so apparently they grow faster. Seems to work so far.
Good luck with your gardening and tell me how it goes! In Macau, Diaso sells the plants support, gravel etc for just 15MOP. I also occasionally empty my used coffee grounds to the soil because I read that the nitrates help as a natural fertiliser.
For soil, I get the potting soil near the Red market and also at the Nursery in Taipa (close to Kafka café at the Hope Clinic). The nursery is at the deadend.
I forgot how much I missed fiction and how much fiction I was reading a decade ago before work took priorities, but it’s been really good picking up fiction books at the library again. You never really know what you’re going to end up with.
I thought The Shoemaker’s Wife by Adriana Trigiani would fall into the same category of The Book Thief, The Time Traveller’s Wife etc, and it somewhat did and was a good read. Having lived in Northern Italy and have friends from Bergamo and the book’s plot and context triggered memories – familiar places. Even though it was set in the 19th century with plenty of Italian migrants moving abroad to find work and a new life in New York City, I remember lots of stories from a good friend Annalisa Merelli who is from Bergamo and whose own granddad was one of those that went to NYC in search of a better life and was a tailor.
Anyhow, here is a book of migration, family life, love and fate and everything in between about going the distance and becoming your new self as you grow when you relocate from what you knew as home to building and finding your identity in another place – which so many of us nomadic professionals or trailing spouses are so accustomed to.
If I were to judge a book by its cover, I wouldn’t have picked it up. However,, the title and synopsis was interesting. This suspense novel is peppered with rich historical facts of 16th century Italy, in the same genre as Donna Tartt’s novels peppered with exciting historical recreation of that era like a Ken Follett novel. Here is the kind of fiction that fills your soul.
All the more special as I spent countless weekends in Venice while I was living in Treviso, also in the Veneto area, 20 minutes by train to Venezia. I got to know the little alley ways, campo, calles etc intimately after getting lost in my first couple of weeks. I also contributed to an Anthology “Venice is not sinking” a courtesan short story set in the same era. My Murano glass rings that I don’t wear often today.
On the boobs bridge. “Ponte de la tete” as it reads, in the red light district, courtesans of the 16th century were said to be flashing their boobs out of the windows.
In the company of the Courtesan is a quick read and you won’t want to put it down. Narrated from the perspective of a hideous dwarf at the service of the courtesan, it takes us through Rome and then back to Venice. The 1500s is also the exact same period Shakespeare wrote The Merchants of Venice and this novel paints a pretty detailed picture of the bustling activities from the Rialto to the little glass town Murano.
I had done some research before writing my story. Every gondola has a comb with 6 teeth – Venezia is divided into little districts (sestieri) if you will. Some photos while researching the red light district of 16th century Venice… that was 11 years ago!
Picked this book up out of curiosity thinking it’d be in the genre of chick lit, but French Chic was one snooze pill and I have to confess I didn’t finish it. Well, I am married to a French man and have been to France dozens of times, through the villages, French Riveria where women carry their Birkins as beach bags in St Tropez and Monaco.
And then, of course Paris in Winter, in tourist summer season (do not wear shorts, that is a faux pas and a dead tourist giveaway) and the in between seasons of Spring and Autumn, classic style doesn’t go out of fashion and scarves make great accessories. I can tell you that many of the stereotypes in the book aren’t true.
Like everywhere else in the world, there are French women, yes even in Paris who aren’t immaculately dressed, slim or super chic. They are overweight, in frumpy clothes and lay people like everywhere else in the world.
The book focuses on women “d’un certain age” which refers to women in a polite way over 40 years old. Written from a starry eyed been there done that American ex fashion journalist, you’re not getting the real spiel but rather, her glamourised version and her social circle of socialites, so… I am afraid, that’s not the real world.
I think the problem with these books are, authors like Tish Jett over romanticises the French cliché. I know plenty of super fashionable and elegant French women amongst my friends from various provinces in France, but I also know equally regular women like you and I.
I know one of the secrets they always say is to have those classic pieces, that little black dress, more black, greys and neutral colours. Infact some of my most elegant friends have the tiniest wardrobes. Their personalities kind of shine on their own. Scarves are another accessory most of my French women friends don’t leave the house without.
So, unless you have run out of reading materials. I wouldn’t recommend it. It got rave reviews… naturally from Americans… there is a myth that French women are more chic and French mums parent better (and their kids eat everything… NOT true, I know 100% French children who don’t eat their greens and don’t even eat cheese.
And yes, I’m looking at American Mum Pamela Druckerman of “bringing up bébé” fame or French Children eat everything by Canadian author Karen Le Billon. Sigh, all sweeping statements.).
Given my exposure to the French on a regular basis for nearly a decade both in France and abroad, I have a pretty good idea of the day to day of their lives. And, believe me, they are pretty regular folks like all of us. And like everyone else, parenting, upbringing and everyone’s own childhood baggage comes to play when they raise their children. So, stop with the romanticised myth already.
I am starting a series interviewing chef wives as part of my on-going series of #marriedtoachef to learn from and share how all these other amazing women from all over the world in similar situations are doing. From conquering their fears, pushing their boundaries and making it work at the merciless schedule of their chef husbands.
To kick it off, here’s my introductory post before introducing all the awesome ladies #marriedtoachef who kindly agreed to the interview. I’m skipping the intro part as regular visitors might already know the story. If not, you can read more here about me.
Many chef wives work alongside their husbands running the front of house and most of them run their PR and social presence as well. I do some of the latter (but is hard when I don’t have access to kitchen to get mise en place / in the pass photos. Right now, I wouldn’t veer into the waters of working together… but ask me again in 10 years maybe.
I’ve always loved spending time alone – I spent much of my late teens and early 20s backpacking solo and one of my favourite activities is going to plays, movies and concerts alone. My first love was a medical student and he too worked alot, long hours studying, 48h on call at the hospital, so I suppose I have always had a busy partner which works itself out!
For me, having time to be by yourself is luxury, which explains how our marriage works out. I am so grateful for alone time as an introvert. As I am alone almost all the time and when chef gets home early – it upsets my plan of working, blogging, online classes, late night skype calls with friends etc!
1. How and when did you meet your chef husband?
We both worked and lived in Beijing, Myself for 4+ years, he arrived in 2006 and I arrived in 2007. We didn’t meet till 2009 at a Jaboulet Hermitage wine dinner at Raffles Hotel with a two Michelin starred guest chef Nicolas Le Bec. I was on a media table covering the event.
He introduced himself as Alain Ducasse and my first thought was – WHO is this fellow? And the audacity.
My then full time job was a copywriter at BBDO doing BWM, MINI ad campaigns and I was moonlighting for fun as a freelance writer to dig deep into the food scene in Beijing.
We didn’t get together till 2010 and shortly after he returned to France, then moved on to Marrakech for a consulting job. So we dated Beijing- France-Marrakech.. and I cannot even begin to tell you how tough it is across timezones with a chef’s schedule…! And the phase two was Beijing (me) – Macao.
Then Hong Kong (me) where I transferred to the corporate office – Macao before quitting the life and career as I knew it to move to Macau… in September, it will be four years in Macau. And we are married for two years, which incidentally our anniversary is this week!
2. Did marrying chef change your career goals/ direction in life?
Well, let’s say it turned it all upside down and I took the last couple of years to finally make peace with myself and accept my own decision.
I am an alpha-female. The go-getting, conquer challenges, solve problems, climb corporate ladder type. And suddenly I was relegated to the ranks of housewivery as a trailing spouse where day to day decisions are what’s on sale and is this detergent eco-friendly? Are these cruelty-free happy hen eggs?
And not to mention the condescension of being the Asian trailing spouse dealing with all the passport hunting stereotypes – which now in hindsight is hilarious – what’s up with these people man? So rude!
In the last four years, leaving Macau (after the painstaking work of making this relationship work long and short distance) was not an option because of the husband’s career. So, that meant turning down amazing job offers I would have jumped at, brilliant career advancements opportunities because of the work I do.
I’ve only ever moved for work and never had I been more displaced – my de facto dependent visa (pre-marriage papers) took forever to approve, I was on the brink of deportation.
I said no and no and no and then the job offers eventually stopped coming. In my desperation to be useful and busy and find my sense of self in this world of insecurities – giving up a life I have always known and built myself.
I set up JLOH Communications and run a consultancy business. I naturally over-did myself and work longer hours than chef. Which kind of defeated the whole purpose of moving to Macau to be with him. So a couple of months ago, I quit my full time global retainer and am now on project work.
I had no friends of my own, I had no community – because I clocked long hours with my global retainer client I had for nearly four years working out of my home office or jumping on a plane at short notice. My social circle consisted of “friends” I had inherited from my husband – mainly his friends’ spouses – the types of people I would never be friends with in my lifetime.
Man, that was tough. but that is not to say it’s all bad, because one of my best friends and mentor I met is also a chef’s wife and I can’t wait to feature AromasnSabores who has kindly agreed to do the interview as well. Heidi inspired my personal growth, learning food styling and photography.
3. Best thing about being married to a chef?
Well, the food of course. The chef fraternity around the world. Dining in the kitchens behind the scene. Visiting the best wineries all over France, drinking straight from the barrels of DRC. Going truffle hunting and eating so much truffles I get a tummyache and cramps. Or waiting for the fishermen to come in with their fresh haul in Brittany – the same suppliers that export those fresh catch out to Michelin starred restaurants in Hong Kong and Macau.
These are gourmet stories of every food writer/journalist dreams of and that’s just my regular kind of holiday. Always seeking, discovering and eating.
And time alone!!! Solitary me time, there’s so much to see, do, learn in life, I really don’t understand it when people say they are bored!
4. Pet Peeve about being married to a head chef of a two Michelin starred restaurant (with his name on the restaurant no less)?
Apart from dealing with the usual misconceptions of “you are so lucky to eat michelin starred gourmet meals everyday” which couldn’t be further from the truth.
I suppose this would be being at the mercy of his schedule and it’s hard to plan for anything – that unexpected day off, going back to work on his off day is not uncommon. VIP guests that arrive at the restaurant past 1030pm and takes a full dégustation menu – that means chef doesn’t get home before 1am.
With this the unpredictable schedule, needless to say, it’s hard to keep your skype date with your best friend you had planned for weeks, much less have a soaring career, given that you’d have to reschedule appointments at the drop of the hat.
I used to hold on tight to appointments with much stress and anger because I’m a committed professional, but eventually the opportunity cost of losing precious time with chef husband takes more weight.
I suppose I am accepting how I need to prioritise time in ways I have never learnt.
Someone’s got to give and it’s taken me four years to finally make peace.
The other is more a feminist issue because there will never be equal standing in a chef marriage. It will always be about the chefand the supportive trailing spouse will always be invisible.
In all my management roles, I always made it a point to recognise the efforts of the team, never taking full credit for any project or success, so this was, initially pretty hard for me to stomach after giving up a career and life as I knew it to join the ranks of invisible trailing spouses.
Where is the equality? (I acknowledge that’s my alpha female speaking) It is however common knowledge that marriage is never fair, and fairness is a moving target, so I am learning how to be the silent publicly invisible supportive wife.
I suppose it’s the same when your child achieves the highest accolades, you’ll be that silent pillar at the back cheering him/her on and not wanting a piece of that pie for acknowledgement.
The upside of being out of the limelight is to be able to be my own person, whether it’s writing or consulting, just doing all the things that spark joy, without worrying about the rumour mongering gossips. :)
5. Work, life and chef schedule balance – how do you manage it all?
That took me a long time to figure out dating long distance then short distance and trying to hang on to my own identity, which I realised regardless of shape and form (this is even before motherhood decisions of whether to be a SAHM or working mum), work doesn’t define me as a person.
It’s SO HARD, believe me, I’m Singaporean, it’s part of our social conditioning from birth.
Well, it does and it doesn’t. When I set up my own consulting business I was working more than chef, travelling often at last minute notice, I actually saw him as little as when we were living in different countries.
I went to bed before he came home at midnight and when he was heading out the door to work I was already chairing morning calls – so we could go for 3-4 days without speaking to each other.
Now that I am on project work (HOOOOORAY), I am more fluid and on chef’s spontaneous schedule! While the work and income isn’t stable and regular like I’ve always known it to be nor glamourous with tons of travel with global clients, it’s been so far so good with this new routine and I have so much more time for chef, myself and sanity.
I don’t really know what took me so long to draw the line of work, life and marriage.
Well, there is a time and place for everything and each situation, person and place is a lesson we need to learn, I suppose.
6. Advice on dating/married to a chef: The misconceptions and glory
The husband is an executive chef but also chef de cuisine at the eponymous two Michelin starred restaurant, that means he takes care of room service and all the food in the hotel, but is also behind the stoves every dinner and lunch service at his Michelin starred restaurant The Tasting Room by Galliot.
Many executive chefs spend their time in the office doing paperwork and managing people – but my husband is essentially doing two jobs because his passion lies in cooking and the adrenaline rush of the kitchen service.
I think the media sensationalises this #marriedtoachef glory. When your chef wins awards, gets his Michelin stars or launches his own TV show etc, the glory and fame all comes at a price. If you’re after the glory and fame by marrying a celebrity/Michelin starred chef, then it probably isn’t going to work.
I did a short research and could not find many celebrity chefs without infidelity and/or broken marriages. Those strong marriages that remained intact, interestingly, their wives holds the fort front of house in the restaurant or are partners in business in some way.
I learnt that my sense of self is very separate from being a chef wife. I stand in the back row and quietly cheerlead, never add to the stress. In my social circle, I heard chef wives call their husbands as many times as 20 times a day. And often times they call during service hours. That’s adding alot of unnecessary stress.
At the end of the day, I think you need to be really comfortable with yourself, on your own and be that pillar of support always and on demand. It’s a partnership and we don’t want to fall into the blame game of me against you.
I think chef wives like many wives supporting their husbands in equally demanding high profile careers deal with it the same way. In the meantime, I am just immensely grateful that we live in Asia and can afford hired help, because, well, let’s just say housekeeping isn’t a forte of mine.
I read her first book Bergdorf Blondes over a decade ago when it was published in 2004, one of those mindless, funny chick lit books, entertaining and paints a funny and realistic socialite life given that Sykes moves in that New York socialite circle.
The author obviously comes from a family of privilege and moves in the circle and I am sure the satire and hysterics are true to a large extent.
Debutante Divorcee is her second novel and a breeze to read. Light hearted piece of reading, ridiculously shallow. Nonetheless, a great read in one sitting. A good book to take to the beach or finish in a sitting on your plane ride – it’s that kind of life you have to live vicariously through books, since afterall, most of us will never marry into or make it to the socialite circle.
I’m reading alot more these days and trying to manage a book a week, back into the old bedtime habit of reading before sleep – which is another way to keep me off illuminated screens at bed time.
Picked this book up judging by its cover and thought it’d be fun. The format is great given that Semple was a TV writer for years and she chose this letter writing correspondence to reveal the plot that kept you in suspense and guessing from all sides.
It is told through the perspective of Bernadette’s daughter. Although I have never been to Seattle, I only know it rains alot and the weather is dreary, but I could most certainly relate to Bernadette’s lost sense of self and displacement in a place she could barely found things to love about.
Then the trip to Antartica Bernadette was dreading, then it all comes full circle where she finds her sense of self and creativity again.
And the environment and the other mums she calls “gnats”. All in all, a funny, light read. Loved it.
I’ve followed Shannon’s blog for over a year now and always inspired by her posts, keeping busy and plenty of the great outdoor photos. Head over to her blog to check out her posts and photos. :)
Here’s a little Q&A with Shannon Hall!
1. Could you tell us a little about yourself?
I’m Shannon and I live in Salt Lake City, UT with my chef husband, Colby. We have a black and tan shiba inu pup (no kids) and have been married for just over two years, so I’m just getting into this #chefwife thing!
By day, I work as a marketing director for a swimwear company, and by night, I run my travel blog, which often involves wandering around in the wilderness in search of adventures.
I love to read – my favorite book is Tuesdays with Morrie; eat – favorite foods are pizza and wings; and of course, travel – my favorite place has to be Oregon! I’ve also recently started trying to get better at photography and Colby has gotten me into fly fishing, so I guess I do a little bit of everything.
2. How did you meet chef?
It’s a long, crazy story if I get into the whole thing, but basically we met online. It’s funny because we actually went to the same high school and grew up within a couple miles of each other, but since chef is 5 years older than me, we never crossed paths.
When we came across each other on OkCupid, we were living 3 hours apart, but in less than a month after meeting up, chef left his job to move closer to me so we could date. It was a huge commitment that we were both very nervous about, but luckily it worked out and after dating for a year, we got married!
We’ve always been on opposite schedules – I was still at university when we met and was working evenings, and back then it was actually chef who was working during the day as the chef at a girls’ school. When we got married and moved back to the city, I got a 9-5 and chef went back to working nights at a fine dining restaurant, where he still is, so luckily it wasn’t a huge shock as far as the chef schedule goes when we got married. We were used to spending a lot of time apart.
3. Did marrying chef change your career goals/ direction in life?
Yes and no. I always knew that I would work and have a career, so even though marrying a chef made it a little more of a necessity, it wasn’t a bad thing at all. It’s definitely changed the kind of work environment I envisioned for myself, though.
I worked in a corporate office for almost two years and while it wasn’t horrible or anything, it was definitely hard to not see chef very much. I work from home most days now and it’s improved our relationship a ton – we can have the same days off to do things together and I can see him for more than just a quick goodbye in the mornings.
I definitely want to continue to have that flexibility in the future, especially once we start to think about kids. But then again, we are constantly figuring it out as we go. So many things can change and you just have to be able to adapt!
4. Best thing about being married to a chef?
There are so many good things, but my favorite has to be the passion that chef has. I love seeing his eyes light up when he’s creating a new dish or when he tastes something phenomenal. He has so many dreams about what he wants to do and how he can make people happy through food.
It keeps things interesting and fun and I love that he loves what he does. There are too many people out there who don’t love their work. It just makes life better overall when that passion is there, and it reflects into other aspects of life, too.
5. Work, life and chef schedule balance – how do you manage it all?
We are super lucky right now that chef works at a restaurant that is only open for dinner and is closed on Sundays, so we can always rely on having that one day a week together, as well as most mornings. As for my schedule, working from home has helped so much.
As long as I plan ahead, we can spend time together in the mornings or on chef’s other day off and I can catch up when he’s at work on the weekends. We try to plan little getaways as much as possible (usually a Sunday-Monday camping trip when there’s a Monday holiday) and we plan at least one actual vacation a year.
I try to go out and do things without chef, even if I might feel awkward without a date or if I end up taking myself to dinner alone. The one thing I’ve learned about chef wife life is that I can’t wait for him to be able to join me for everything, or else I’ll never end up doing anything at all.
6. Pet peeve about being a chef wife? (apart from dealing with the repetitive “oh you must be so lucky with professional gourmet meals daily!” haha)
There are so many of these too! Probably the biggest one is when family plans something important around a big holiday like Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day and then gets super upset and offended when we can’t be there.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been the target with both mine and his family for not being able to make it, and I have to put out the fire because chef is at work and can’t respond to texts. (Extra scary when it’s his family I have to deal with!)
I understand that holidays are the best time for other people to get together, but it’s the complete opposite for us! I wish more people would think about that.
7. Your love of nature, your dog, the great big outdoors, photography and social media. How would you sum up your blog and life as a chef wife?
Life as a chef wife is always an adventure, but we make it work. It’s actually been amazing in so many ways because there is always someone home with our dog when we have opposite schedules (and hopefully that will be a perk for our future kids as well – and something that will allow me to keep working!), it gives me time alone to spend on my hobbies like blogging, hiking, and photography, and it has helped us both to really appreciate and make the most of our time together.
Both chef and I are massive introverts, so we need alone time to recharge. I always say that marrying a chef has saved my marriage for this reason – we’re not constantly together and pulling our hair out because of it. I’m sure things will get crazier and more difficult as we get farther into life together, but I always know that chef will put us first and that’s what makes it all worth it.
Check out more of Shannon’s awesome photos on Instagram. And if you look more delicious food imagery, check out Saltyeats that she runs together with her chef husband. :)
Summer season and travelling means more time to finish books! I picked this up by chance at the library and really enjoyed it. I wasn’t sure what to expect but it gave such a real insight into schizophrenia, I was sitting tight swaying between ghost, demons and everything spiritual and the science and evidence of schizophrenia – so powerfully real. I can only image how stressful and emotionally demanding it is for family members to care for a loved one with the illness and the constant worry about leaving them unattended.
I am not familiar with the best selling author Carolyn Jess-Cooke, but will be checking out the rest of her books. One of the reviews described it as something in the vein of Mark Haddon’s “The Curious incident of the dog” which I really enjoyed and read over a decade ago.
The writing style is fluid and simple, with the sort of keen childlike wonder observations of people and things.
The butter chicken dish is one of the husband’s and my favourite dishes. I of course made the pilgrimage to Moti Mahal in New Dehli where it was created. And I was thrilled for Food Travel Live to teach me how to make the dish. The extensive range of spices is still daunting, but hopefully I get the hang of it soon. Head over to her blog to check out the history of dishes.
Murgh Makhani – Butter Chicken
Ingredients:
400gms Boneless Chicken cut into 1½ inch pieces (I bought chicken with bones and it was really much harder to cook! lesson learnt!)
1st Marinade:
2 Tbsp Butter
1 Tsp Kashmiri Red chilli powder
1 Tbsp Lemon juice
Salt to taste
2nd Marinade:
½ Cup Thick yogurt
2 Tsp Ginger paste
2 Tsp Garlic paste
½ Tsp Red chilli powder
½ Tsp Garam Masala powder
Salt to taste
2 Tsp Mustard oil (Magic Ingredient) – I have to say this made all the difference! It accelerated the whole marinate!
Makhani gravy:
10-12 medium Tomato roughly chopped
4 Tbsp Butter
4 Green Cardamoms
1 gm Mace
1 Tsp Ginger paste
1 Tsp Garlic paste
1 Tsp Kashmiri Red chilli powder (can use “deghi mirch” if you like more hot)
½ Tsp Garam Masala powder
¼ Tsp Dried fenugreek leaves (kasoori methi) roasted and crushed
1 Tbsp Honey
3/12 Tbsp Fresh cream
Salt to taste
Method:
For the first marinade: Prick the chicken pieces all over with a fork or knife. Place them in a large bowl and add the salt, red chilli powder, lemon juice and mix well. Cover the bowl with a cling film and set aside to marinate for thirty minutes in a refrigerator.
For the second marinade: Hang the yogurt in a muslin cloth for fifteen to twenty minutes to remove extra water. Now mix together yogurt, ginger paste, garlic paste, chilli powder, salt and garam masala powder. Add the mustard oil and mix. Add this to the chicken with the first marinade and mix well so that all the chicken pieces are well coated. Cover the bowl with cling film and place it again in the refrigerator to marinate for about two hours.
For the gravy: Puree the fresh tomatoes till smooth. Heat two tablespoons of butter in a deep non-stick pan on low heat. Add the green cardamoms and mace and cook till fragrant. Add the ginger paste and garlic paste and sauté for a minute.
Add the pureed tomatoes, salt, red chilli powder and cook, stirring occasionally, for fifteen to twenty minutes.
You can also cook the tomato first separately, puree and add to the gravy as per your convenience. If in a rush can use store brought good quality tomato puree as well.
As the gravy is cooking, preheat the oven to 200°C/400°F/Gas Mark 6. String the chicken pieces onto skewers or just lay them on a hot tray (do not crowd) and cook in the preheated oven or a moderately hot tandoor for ten to twelve minutes or until almost done. Baste with the butter and cook for another two minutes. Remove and set aside.
If you don’t have an electric oven or tandoor, you can also cook the chicken on a gas tandoor, griddle or pan.
Check back on the gravy and now add the roasted and crushed kasuri methi and mix. Add the remaining butter and cook for a few minutes. Add the honey and cream and mix well. Cook for 2 minutes more. Finally add the chicken pieces, sprinkle a little garam masala powder and cook for further 3-5 mins minutes.
Serve hot with naan or in our case we had pilaf and chapati. :)
I had an amazing time traveling in India, mostly on my own for nearly two weeks. The poetic chaos assaults your every senses and there’s so much inspiration and creativity in all. Here’s my album of !incredible India. And more India travel posts: here, here and here. What goes on in the India Post office circa 2010?
I stayed up all night reading Time of my Life. It’s one of those chick lit books that keep flowing in a simple and easy narrative like your friend’s talking and it’s got all the juicy bits, so you can’t put the book down.
I’m not familiar with her works, but everyone’s probably heard of “PS I love you”, one of Cecelia Ahern’s earlier novels and a movie adaptation was made. I did watch it maybe a decade ago, but have little recollection apart from it being sweet and sad.
Well, the narrative is interesting as you follow the protagonist on the stocktaking of her life and there is an odd character called “Life”, so her “Life” is personified and given a character to help unravel, guide and unfold with each choice she takes and the possibilities that Life has to offer.
I have plenty of super positive friends where life is a great surf, but I could relate to the protagonist’s life, and many others like me that have/had to learn how to “figure life out”, getting over self deprecation, self esteem issues and actually bravely LIVE.
Well, life is an on going journey and I’m definitely much happier than I was a decade ago, after plenty of self work, self care and therapy. And then there is taking the Universe’s lead and not obsessively worrying and trying to control everything.
I was hooked on her other novel In the Company of The Courtesan set in the 14th century Italy with its plot unfolding mainly in Venezia, a place close to my heart having lived in the Veneto.
However, I am sad to report that Sacred Heart was so slow and was missing a denouement, ending abruptly in the last three pages where the young lovers meet again and there wasn’t any suspense to push along what happens, you’re kind of left hanging.
A pity as as it was interesting, yet the plot was repetitive as if to deliberately drag it on for more pages.
I have little idea of what convent life entails and how punishing it is to live without mortal sins, perhaps the narrative was told in that way to make one drowsy waiting for the plot to unfold. Again, I liked how it was peppered with historical details in time context.
I’ll give it another go and try to get hold of Sarah Dunant’s first best seller “The Birth of Venus”. All the books have very unattractive covers unless Renaissance type art is your thing, which isn’t mine. :)
I found Jennifer through the hashtag #marriedtoachef over a year ago and have followed her journey of raising 3 kids and conquering it all like a pro. You can check out her blog and the chef wife sorority she leads in a private facebook group. :)
1. How did you meet your chef husband?
I met my husband when I was 4 and he was 5 at church. We started dating in High School and got married in college. About 6 months after we were married, he got his first line cook position.
2. The sacrifices for chef’s wives are much larger stakes as we are at the mercy of our husband’s schedules and careers. You’ve got the fabulous Emulsified family blog going and web design consultancy, how do you manage it all? Was it difficult to put your own plans aside?
My career has and always will be second to his. We have always felt that it’s best for me to stay home full time with our kids. So even when I was working full time as a teacher for 10 years before we had our first child, his career was always first in both of our minds, as it would be the one to provide everything for us in the years to come.
I always wanted to be a wife and stay at home more so I never really had to put my plans aside. I’ll admit, there have been times I struggled with being home full time as it’s not exactly what I thought it would be. Living on one income is very difficult at times and being at home with so much time to think, sometimes made that even harder, as I would worry about money.
I started up my website development business to help out my husband’s restaurant group and have just kept it going, working when the kids were napping or at school. I’ve been able to blog and connect with other chef wives and girlfriends during that time as well.
3. Chef wife with children. Hat’s off and super respect to all chef wife mums. I know you write about the difficulty of managing chef’s schedule to be at a concert for your children or that first performance. Any tips to run and keep everyone happy in the household?
Don’t plan things on Friday and Saturday night if you want him to be there. By the time we had kids, my husband was at the Executive chef level or higher so unless there was a big event or a restaurant opening, he was usually able to take off a week night for school events. Our kids are not in sports, so that’s not an issue for us.
4. Your favourite moments as chef wife?
Eating at my husband’s restaurant right after a menu change! It’s so fun to hear people’s responses to the menu and to hear all the compliments from the staff. I’m always so proud of him!
5. Tips to master the footwork of a chef marriage? e.g. – I personally find it easier not to talk to chef when he comes home tired from work, he is completely switched off which make some feel very neglected and ignored and triggers my own insecurities.
Yes!! Never talk about important things when they are tired. Sometimes this is hard as they are always tired, but I’ve found that if I give him a heads up that I want to talk about something on his next day off, it goes better than if I just spring it on him.
I also have to be careful not to read into his mood when he’s tired. I have often thought something was wrong, and all it really was is that he was completely exhausted! I’ve also had to love over bitterness.
It’s easy to get bitter about their long hours and to start to think they want to be there more than they want to be with you. I have to remember that he’s working all those long hours to provide for us, not to get away from us.
And for that, I love him!! (And for many more reasons as well.) We have also found it works well for me to take care of the majority of things around the house since I stay home full time.
6. Favourite meal prepared by chef either in the resto or at home?
No favourite. I will eat anything he cooks as it all tastes so much better than anything I cook!
7. What you cook that is your chef’s favourite meal?
Top Ramen? Seriously, I’ve never asked him. I know he’s thankful for the food when I prepare it, but I can’t say there’s a certain thing that he loves.
8. One piece of advice for someone dating a chef or married to a chef?
Don’t give up! You’ll have some tough times with the long hours, especially if you are working opposite hours as your chef. Communicate any way that you can so you can get through it (text, call, talk at 3 am, video chat during a break, etc.). Find ways to encourage each other and go out of your way to make them feel loved and cared for, even if you are feeling neglected at the moment.
Also, under no circumstances, compare yourself to another couple who is not in the restaurant industry. Your relationship will be nothing like that of your friends who are not dating or married to a chef. And chances are they won’t understand a lot of the things you are feeling (although a good friend will always try. Seek out those friends!) That was more than one piece of advice…. :-)
This novel is truly a “jewel box of a novel”. The chapters are intersperse between the two main characters Abel who remembers nothing of his past and is invincible with no knife or cuts that can hurt him as the skin instantly heels itself. And then there is Eve, the furry lion faced woman – both meet when they get recruited into a circus act.
And then the inevitable happens. They fall in love. Follow the madness, suspenseful, tender journey of them both.
It’s Rosie Garland’s debut novel. Love the book cover design, even though you’re dizzy with the number of type going on the cover. It’s a magical, dizzy kind of fiction. Loved it.
Less is more, we hear it all the time from design aesthetics to presentation content. But the same applies to daily life necessities and I’ve been working hard to let go of stuff, feelings, people who don’t/no longer serve any purpose, but instead drag out all drama and issues.
How much do we really need? It’s all just stuff. I think this applies to all other aspects of life too – you don’t really need so many friends, you need a handful of your tribe. Given how time poor we are these days, we probably won’t ever have enough time for everything and the life of clutter we create.
Even before the Konmarie craze, there’s been plenty of articles and philosophies on living a life of less. I’ve been trying to abide by living a life of less for a while. This article is really inspiring. The more money you have doesn’t mean you have to keep upsizing.
“I try to live smaller and travel lighter. I have more time and money. Aside from my travel habit — which I try to keep in check by minimizing trips, combining trips and purchasing carbon offsets — I feel better that my carbon footprint is significantly smaller than in my previous supersize life.”
I’m sentimental and used to be a hoarder, having moved countries and continents over the last decade, I have only in recent years learnt how to live a leaner life. I also have to acknowledge that living a leaner life is for the privileged middle class. You need to already have enough, a comfortable level of enough before you can live a life of less. The poor go hungry and they have no choice to buy in bulk because its cheaper.
So many appliances, gadgets that I keep accumulating but don’t have time to really utilise it (ironically it’s all suppose to make your life better, simplify etc). And those personal relationships/friendships that no longer serve you in your present self. Let it go.
I suppose in our 30s, we start to feel loss more profoundly – losing parents to old age, losing friends who succumb to the evil toxic illness that is cancer, friends who have lost their child. And yet, there is so much envy and viciousness that still exist and all that psychological or physical baggage we carry around.
I’m happy to report that avoiding drama at all cost really improved my quality of life. I walk away from the vicious gossip, the prying, the unkind comments coming from places of deep insecurities and at times clearly psychological problems.
I’ve stopped overthinking everything. It’s not worth the time nor mental agony to “figure out why or why not“. There are plenty of insecure, hurt and mean people out there who constantly feel the need to project their own insecurities on others which inevitably leads to drama.
This living a leaner life on less has been the best thing ever. I am grateful to be living more mindfully and a much healthier, leaner life, although I am still working hard on the difficult (ethical) food decisions being married to a fine dining chef. Shifting gears on the work front to take on more meaningful work despite the insecurities, rather than be caught in the toxic cycle of more has been the best decision ever.
My little ways of redeeming myself is growing as much of my own food as possible and teaching my students to question everything in the Anthropology Food and Culture course I teach final year hospitality students.
What are you doing to help live a better life of less? I found that it holds through when you declutter and let go of things, memories, people that no longer serve you, you actually make more room for things you want in your life. Meaningful friendships, so much joy and space to do more and learn more.
*Stunning stock images from Unsplash, my resource for free stock images. I contribute as an photography hobbyist, but somehow find it not quite fair to the professionals submitting their amazing works for free and admire their generosity as they try to make a living off their craft, and in some way it devalues their work
I picked up Rainbow Rowell’s book based on the review at the back of the book, but it was a pretty boring read and too literally about a landline that connected the protagonist between past and present and went no where.
I had thought it’d be interesting rewinding dating pre mobile era and present day with mobile phones – there was none of that frisson of dating, depth of memories and awkward dating moments – it wasn’t written very well. It failed to evoke any sense of nostalgia for me and fell very flat with trying too hard – abit like reading an essay from a teenager.
There was no climax no denouement, this book pretty much should not have been written for the sake of it. There was no point in writing this at all as the plot didn’t make sense.
I wouldn’t recommend it, even though it’s got good reviews. I just realised she’s famous for writing young adult fiction, maybe that explains why I could not relate to any of the simplistic and very boring straight laced “want to create magic” sort of plot.
Ever since I won the mail chimp scholarship for a premium membership on Skillshare, I’ve been lots of classes here and working hard on food photography and styling.
I had previously paid for a couple of classes on design and photography.
Here are some of my favourites if you’re looking to improve your Instagram, photography and food styling.
1. All of Mariya Popandopulo’s classes are great and I’ve taken all 7 of them. She’ll be teaching a stop motion class soon and I can’t wait!
Here’s some of my homework samples on light, shadows, movements and composition :)
2. Instagram continues to evolve quickly and regularly like all social channels and it’s hard to figure out engagement and fan numbers.
Accounts like mine are not specific themed like food only or architecture or landscapes. The popular accounts with a lot of fans then to be very specific as multi themed subjects don’t always appeal to everyone.
I started my instagram for fun as my personal creative outlet before I got featured as a user and suddenly numbers got competitive. My blog has always been about “Food, Fun and life” and because I have multiple interests from food to art and architecture, my feed isn’t consistent.
I took a course by Anna Kay on building a more consistent presence and it was helpful to streamline and create some sense of consistency despite multiple interesting subjects.
And there’s Twheat that I was following for a few years now. He used to live in Hong Kong and got spotted and then hired to join the Instagram team, so he went back to the US.
His class offers great tips if you plan on monetising with Instagram.
4. My first class on skillshare before becoming a premium member was with Anne Ditmeyer on designing maps. I’m taking a couple of her InDesign courses at the moment.
